Trying and trying to write a blog post that was all that I wanted to say in a whittly and just like me style. Something that would warrant you taking time out of your day to read. A memorable type of entry that would matter and be something you wanted to share.
I started with the tell everyone off post, and it is pretty sizeable but will probably won't see the light of the internet. Next was they hey this worked for me beginning of sharing the oh so wonderful wisdom that some have said I possess. Deleted.
You see herein lies the problem. Most of my posts are still about helping someone. A sharing of the lessons that someone was so kind to test me on so I could move past some thing that was blocking me from my smile.
I see them. They are in my everyday life. Those people who are so busy being like the me of the past, I can barely even stand not sitting them down and trying to navigate a shortcut for them. Surely no one wants to suffer for as long as I did in self-pity wallowing that so was the majority of my previous life.
They are busy looking for validation, for approval, for something to complete them. It's not a bad motivator, but it doesnt really work to propel you forward.
I also see me, deleting those things that "are not about you" but worry me so that you think that they will, I still struggle with making people mad so away it goes.
I often wonder how it happens. How do we get to the age that we are and still not understand why we are here? How is it decade after decade passes us by and we are still looking for something to make us happy. When all along the happiness that eludes us was only a choice. A simple decision that was waiting for us to pick it so it could be every part of our day. Waiting with a tool bag full of tricks and gadgets that would have made all the difference in "thats our fun" account.
Seeking to find the JOB that would make our resume something to write home about, waiting on the next accomplishment or award that was going to be IT. Saying over and over again when this happens, I will be happy. When I finally find that I will be ok. If only I had this love or that car or even that friend...yep that will do it. I will have figured it out and I will be a success.
But you know what I have learned...it's not true. The seeking and wanting of things is the fire to the creative process, but it is all that is required to be a success. The journey is not about the destination, unless it is just the landing spot for the next jumping off point. That every second we are waiting on something is a waste of our life force. A pause button on our bliss. I hear it all the time, that is a great idea Pam, that is crazy that you think like that...how do you come up with this stuff. It is because I enjoy the process, I treasure that I am connected to the larger consciousness and I let it play within me. I love that I am not afraid that you will take anything away from me. I am sad now and then when I know that a creation came through me and the ego upon which it landed doesnt even for a second acknowledge that I gifted it to them, but I truely see it as a gift and once given you must let it go, even if it was the gift of a million dollar idea. I hear them do it to others also. I don't think it's malicious conscious stealing, they just don't know how to acknowledge. I thank people all the time...I recognize and appreciate creativity, because I understand how it comes through others just as I see how it comes through me. When you clean up your center point...the receiver of messages if you will, you open yourself to the most amazing connection of life force. To say that it is a fun way to be connected and involved in the world is an understatement. Even funnier are those times when I have gifted someone a part of the creative flow that came through me and they come back to thank me for it...its so funny to remember it again.
And then there are those who are talking about how you have to have some way to record all that you create...so you can get credit for it. Ummm, well I guess I screwed up again, because, I don't have that list even started. I just keep giving and knowing that when all my pieces are ready the story for me will be off and running...until then I just give.
But with all that being said...there is nothing that says we have to find our bliss. There is no mantra that says we only get through this life when we get through. There is no scorecard, gradesheet or graduation. There is only what we focus on. If our focus is always on what we do not have, then we will always not have. If our vision is seeing all those who might try to steal our vision if we share it then all we have is something that will be taken away. Find what you want in your life, no matter what it is. Focus on it...as often as you can, for as long as you can. Be great at daydreaming and seeing yourself in the story that you are dreaming. Enjoy the dream, stop short of saying when I have this I will be happy or when I get that I will be ok...choose happy and ok with now.
Or not...just keep doing what is not working and complaining that it is not working. Keep basing your pauses and missteps on your fear. Keep balancing what you will do or not do on what others have done in the past. It's ok, it's your life...do it however you chose. But don't for a second even think that your decision is mine...for you or for me. I learned what they put in front of me. I get that the only thing to fear is fear--ITSELF, thanks Dwight! I get it and I got this...and well nevermind, cause this blog is not about you!
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